My add on story

Kia ora bloggers!,
Today I am going to post about some writing I did.
What you have to do is you have a sentence and a picture and the you write off that.
My story was a bit out of hand but I did do 339 words, I initially was going to stick with the plan I did but that changed and I did something different.
I wanted to make My writing more noticeable and more exciting instead of it being boring so that's what I did!. I did this by focusing on my five senses but then haven't done any similes or metaphors.

My add on improvement starter

I was the only person who had taken notice of the warning. A great flood had swept over the planet, and now my life was very different…

My add on improvement

I was at the bottom of the beautiful ocean running low on oxygen in my big tank but even worse I was low on water and food. The musty smell of smoke filled the air and the distant whale calls driving me insane. The crackling fire warm on my face distracted me from a lot of the bad things like being stranded at the bottom of the ocean and that I only had limited amounts of food water and air which are all things I need to survive. I could taste the leftover muesli bar in my mouth, it tasted horrible but I didn’t have much else and I needed to stay fit to have any chance of surviving. The fish were circling calmly around my tank pink ones blue ones siler ones you name it they were there. A few minutes later all the fish panicked and were swimming away and I think I knew what was coming… A shark. I threw myself into a panic but later on I seemed to calm down thinking if I be careful of what I’m doing it might not charge at me ram me push me.With all the panicking I was doing what I didn’t realize is that the shark had gone just like that.

(2 days later) I was out of food and only had two litres of water left, I was close to having no air but that wasn't the thing I was focusing on right now. I was focused on noises I was hearing noises of something man made something made of metal it sounded close but whatever it was I couldn't see it I waited and listed looking for any sign of life of whatever this thing was. It had been around an hour and then out of the blue I saw something massive humongous giant it was yellow and black and it was full steel with 4 legs and one tail sort of thing also a head or rather a ball with a big black screen. MAYBE I WASN’T THE ONLY SURVIVOR…

PLZ leave a beautiful comment!.

My writing improvement

Kia ora bloggeeeeeeerrrs!,
I'm back and today I am going to show you some of my work I did for writing today. It's where I do improvements on something that someone has written or something that my teacher has written. For my improvement I have to focus on adding personification alliteration metaphors and similes.
I am also going to share my poem with you

My poem: An emotion is like a wave rushing over youUnable to move or breath
Happiness is when your riding the top of the wave
Fear is when your in the wave with it curling over you like a medieval torturerAnger is like the wave hitting the sand

The first story: One night, a boy and his dog were going to the store. As they walked by the cemetery, they heard a noise. The boy turned toward the sound. He thought he saw something move. The dog barked. A shadow passed them and went up into the tree. The boy and the dog ran to the store.

My version:  One night it was as dark a as coal,big bold brave boy and his dog were pacing themselves on there way to the store. As they  stroll by the corner cold craving cemetery, they heard a noise, The boy turned twisted toward the sound. He thought he saw something move. The dog barked. A shadow passed them and went up into the tree, The boy and the dog raced rushed ran to the store.

Please leave a comment

Packing squares

Kia ora bloggers,
Today I am going to be posting about my math work called packing spares it is really fun there are some simple rules to the game.

The answer is 44

Kia ora bloggers,
I am doing a home learning blog post now and I have to find ways to make the number 44 and I have to think outside the box. What ways would you do it? what ways would come into your head first?. please leave it in a comment below, do you have any crazy ways to make 44?.

88/2=44
124-80=44
100-66=44
22x2=44
4x11=44

My story

Kia ora bloggers,
It is Rhys and today I am going to be posting about a story that I have written. It is about a girl that finds a deserted  mirror in her attic and goes on a journey into another world.

Did you like the story?
What do you think will happen?
How do you think it will end?

She had found it lying alone, deserted, abandoned in the attic. After making the discovery, Anna had
gazed and marvelled at it for some time. Where had it come from? Why had no dust settled upon it, as
it had done over everything else that resided in her attic? A layer of the thick dust blanketed the attic
floor, and as the sunlight glared through the attic windows, the dust particles yet to settle were
illuminated as they danced in the stuffy air. Yet, the mirror looked flawless, untouched by age, not a finger print in sight.

Anna propped the mirror up against one of the thick, timber beams that jutted from the attic floor. Settling
down into a comfortable position, she tentatively placed a finger against the glass…

The glass rippled Anna shot her hand back, the mirror stopped rippling but then it turned to a dark
crimson blood color. Anna moved forward interested in a trance she touched it again the mirror was
solid how? Anna was confused what had happened a minute ago the mirror was solid. Now it’s hard
Anna touched it a third time and nothing happened so she touched again that was four touches the
glass made noises. Anna had fear rushing through her like a wildfire BOOM! Bats came flying out of
the strange mirror as hard as a lightning bolt striking the ground. Then the mirror was blank Anna
waited for a minute thinking about if she wanted to leave or stay with the mirror she heard more
noises come from the mirror and then she braced herself for more bats but there were no more bats
so then what was it?.

She moved her arms away willingly and looked at the mirror what she saw blew
her mind, it was herself but not her like her reflection like her twin but inside the mirror her twin spoke
“Welcome to the upside down”. Anna was lost in between fear and confusion then Anna on the other
side of the mirror put her hand on the glass. Real Anna did the same then everything went pitch black
she was in another world everything was different and she felt so small, Anna walked to her left and
then minutes later she got to what looked like a massive dirt track for walking but something felt off
Anna felt a weird feeling then everything went black like earlier but this time she was in a space alien
planet  and everything was different again. Many world traveling Hours later Anna realized that she was
living other people's life that had been stranded on a planet such as the one she was on.
Anna thought hard with her eyes closed was it a test? Anna opened her eyes and she was back
in the attic with no mirror in sight.

Thanks for reading.!

New class project!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kia ora bloggers,
Its Rhys ya Boi.
Today I am going to be blogging about the year five six detective project.
The detective project is a project where we do detective stuff I guess,
we haven't really done much yet. We have done some stuff like a few slides and I've started to do fingerprint art I will write down the steps and then you an do your own fingerprint art.

• First you get an ink pad and put your finger in it 
• Next  you put your finger on a piece of paper
• Then have a look at your fingerprint and draw it on paper
• Lastly colour it in!

Don't forget to leave a comment.