My add on story

Kia ora bloggers!,
Today I am going to post about some writing I did.
What you have to do is you have a sentence and a picture and the you write off that.
My story was a bit out of hand but I did do 339 words, I initially was going to stick with the plan I did but that changed and I did something different.
I wanted to make My writing more noticeable and more exciting instead of it being boring so that's what I did!. I did this by focusing on my five senses but then haven't done any similes or metaphors.

My add on improvement starter

I was the only person who had taken notice of the warning. A great flood had swept over the planet, and now my life was very different…

My add on improvement

I was at the bottom of the beautiful ocean running low on oxygen in my big tank but even worse I was low on water and food. The musty smell of smoke filled the air and the distant whale calls driving me insane. The crackling fire warm on my face distracted me from a lot of the bad things like being stranded at the bottom of the ocean and that I only had limited amounts of food water and air which are all things I need to survive. I could taste the leftover muesli bar in my mouth, it tasted horrible but I didn’t have much else and I needed to stay fit to have any chance of surviving. The fish were circling calmly around my tank pink ones blue ones siler ones you name it they were there. A few minutes later all the fish panicked and were swimming away and I think I knew what was coming… A shark. I threw myself into a panic but later on I seemed to calm down thinking if I be careful of what I’m doing it might not charge at me ram me push me.With all the panicking I was doing what I didn’t realize is that the shark had gone just like that.

(2 days later) I was out of food and only had two litres of water left, I was close to having no air but that wasn't the thing I was focusing on right now. I was focused on noises I was hearing noises of something man made something made of metal it sounded close but whatever it was I couldn't see it I waited and listed looking for any sign of life of whatever this thing was. It had been around an hour and then out of the blue I saw something massive humongous giant it was yellow and black and it was full steel with 4 legs and one tail sort of thing also a head or rather a ball with a big black screen. MAYBE I WASN’T THE ONLY SURVIVOR…

PLZ leave a beautiful comment!.